Two? Already? I feel like your first two years have flown;
they have been full of so much transition.
When I look at you, you represent to me something so huge; it’s hard to
even put it into words, but I’m going to try…
I never imagined I would have a daughter. I was scared to even hope for it. I’ve never been that good at being a “proper
woman” (whatever that means), and I knew that God would not entrust me with a
little girl to mold into a “proper woman”.
I was far too deep a thinker even at an early age, always preoccupied
with serious things it felt like. I
wasn’t a good “girls’ girl”, but wasn’t really a “guys’ girl” either. I always felt a little awkward, a little out
of place. I’ve always had ambitions that
weren’t very feminine. I’ve tried to be
really good at “girl things”, but my heart hasn’t really been in them. I couldn’t imagine that I would be anything
but a disservice to a little girl. But
the most amazing thing happened…He believed in me and gave me you. And loving you has somehow made me love me;
something I’ve failed to do for far too long.
And loving you has made me love being a woman and has even made me
realize I’ve put far too many quotation marks around being a woman. I’ve realized I love, love dressing you and
doing your hair. I love making your room
sweet and feminine. I love painting your
toenails and fingernails and pretending to put makeup on you. I love playing baby dolls with you and
telling you you are beautiful. I’m
looking forward to molding you not into a “proper woman”, but into the woman He
created you to be. And in the process,
I’m finally giving myself permission to embrace the woman He created me to be. You inspire me so.
You are such a beautiful little girl. You are petite and blonde and have beautiful
blue eyes. We have to work for grins and
giggles, but they are delightful when you indulge us. You are skeptical of people and don’t dole out
affection without some time and thought.
You are a little sassy sometimes and a lot feisty most of the time.
You love your brother but can be harsh with him, too. You do a mighty mean, “No, sir” if he’s
displeased you. You are not the best
sleeper. You insist on us staying in
your rocking chair until you’re asleep in your crib. You’ve slept with us many times, forcing me
to eat my words on that topic.
You love most anything your brother’s into (trains, planes,
swords). You also love babies (real and
play), Bubble Guppies, Frozen, and playing with your pretend kitchen. You like to climb, hang on things, and you
are quite the talker. You will try to
say almost anything and already speak in short sentences. You like to sing, but it has to be your idea
(as is true with most anything where you’re concerned). I love your sweet voice. You clasp your hands when we pray, and it
overwhelms me with gratitude that you’re mine.
I love you, sweet girl.
I have no idea how to mother a daughter.
I have no idea how to be a “proper woman”. But I absolutely adore you, and I’ll stay on
my knees looking for direction on how to help you be the amazing little lady He
created you to be.
