Dear Bo, We've said good-bye to your first nanny...

(Actually, that's an overstatement, she didn't even say good-bye, but we're going to choose remember all of the good things about her coming into our lives.)

I've been so emotional about it.  Part of it is because it ended in a way I didn't expect or want.  But I know that however the relationship ended, I would have been emotional.  Mostly because it's another door closed on your infancy, and I'm not great with good-byes. 

I put ads in the church bulletin, online, and spread the word I needed a nanny to anyone who would listen near the end of my pregnancy with you.  Then someone gave me a lady's number who matched nannies with families.  I met the lady who would become your nanny soon after and knew she was the one.  She was my age, had 2 children of her own (who were in school so I wouldn't have to worry about her bringing them (and their germs) with her each day).  She washed her hands as soon as she walked in each time she arrived (and did this until the last day she was here).  And she was with her former family from the time their son was 6 months old until he started kindergarten.  Ba-da-bing.  She was it.

These are some of the things you would remember if you were old enough:

• She called you "Pooka".
• She sang really well and always sang to you.
• She would walk around singing and bouncing when you were a tiny little thing with tummy troubles.
• As soon as you could crawl (and eventually when you could walk), you scurried to the front door as soon as you heard her open it in the mornings. 
• If she and I were both home, and I told you "no", you would go to her and lay your head on her shoulder.
• You loved sitting in her lap and watching cartoons while she stroked your face and kissed the top of your head.

These are some of the things I will remember and be grateful for:

• That I had a sounding board when I was an apprehensive, scared, new mom with a sick baby.
• That she always texted to check on you when you went to the doctor or weren't feeling well.
• Her constant texts about how you were doing and sweet pictures of you.
• One particularly awful day when you wouldn't stop screaming while I was at work, and she said she put her hands over you and prayed out loud that you would feel comfort, and you fell asleep.  I love that story.  
• When I stopped nursing and couldn't stop crying and she hugged me and told me that I shouldn't feel like a bad mother just because I wasn't nursing anymore because I was a good mom.
• That you didn't cry one single time when I left for work while you were in her care.

It's an intimate relationship you have with the woman who is helping you raise your baby.  Your daddy and I love you and change your diaper and wipe your spit up and listen(ed) to your screams, but you're from us.  You are ours.  But when someone (whose you aren't), does those things and loves you and cuddles you and frets over your fevers and diapers and budding teeth right along side us, it's a blessing.  A blessing we haven't taken lightly.  

So a thank you to the woman who loved you along side us for these 18 months.  And here's looking forward to the next woman who will bless you (and us)...