Sunday, November 28, 2010

Dear Bo, Your First Birthday Letter,

At 11:54pm just over a year ago, you changed my life.  Truthfully, I had no idea how much at the time (and that was probably for the best).  I was immediately in love with you.  Your crooked mouth, chubby cheeks, and overall tininess were too much for me!  I get tears in my eyes every time I think about the first 6 weeks with you.  Your sweet sounds, the way you wanted to sleep nowhere but on our chests, the way I cried over every little thing because I was hormonal, because I was sleep deprived, and because my heart was so full of love for you that it made me explode with emotions...everything from happy cries to ugly cries.

After those first 6 weeks of baby bliss, we had a real time of it, baby boy.  I'll never forget those hurt cries, sleepless nights, and all the squirming from discomfort you did.  But sprinkled in those 7 months were all sorts of special moments, too.  Rocking, singing, bouncing on the bed, baths, smiles, giggles...I wouldn't trade a single moment...not even the challenging ones since they no doubt make me treasure these happy, healthy moments all the more.

I wasn't quite sure I'd be a momma someday.  I thought life would be just as fulfilling without it, if that's the decision that was made by us (or for us).  And it might have been...but I'm so thankful that I'll never have to know.  You are everything I never knew I was missing.

Thanks for making me a momma.  Thanks for loving "bouncy bed" and for loving to play with my hand stitched cup makes me feel like Mammaw isn't missing out on you.  Thanks for giving me a reason to call Mimi and Lori with questions every day (sometimes multiple times a day).  Thanks for being the reason Pop showed up late at night to do the "bob and weave" with you.  Thanks for giving me a reason to sing all the songs from my childhood again, for giving me a reason to remember the words to my very favorite one, The Crayon Box Song.  Thanks for loving being sung to so much that I'm forced to make up songs because we wear out all the "old standards" so fast.  Thanks for giving me a reason to buy all my favorite childhood stories like We're Going on a Bear Hunt and for fussing when I finish them because you don't want them to end.

Thanks for making me feel so special when you reach out your plump hands for me to pick you up.  Thanks for lighting up when Daddy talks to you...he's one of your favorite people (and mine, too).  Thanks for having his facial expressions, his furrowed look, his hands, and his toenails...looking like a miniature Daddy isn't a bad thing.  Thanks for waking up each morning and from each nap with a grin so big that I have no choice but to match it.

Thanks for giggling uncontrollably and being in such a fun mood at the end of the day when most little ones are fussy...coming home to you is the best part of every day.  Thanks for not fussing when I leave for work and loving the nanny like you do...being a working momma isn't the right decision for every momma and baby, but I think it works wonderfully for us. I always wondered if I would be as career driven when you came along and now I know the answer...yes and no.  Yes---you enhance everything in my life, including being an attorney.  No---our family of three, loving you, and teaching you to love Jesus is more important than any career. 

Thanks for being the reason my prayer life has improved so drastically this year.  You make me want to be better at everything.  Thanks for introducing me to a whole new world...for giving me a reason to scour the Gymboree website instead of Ann Taylor, for the joy of having a carseat in the back of my Acura, for knowing the price per pamper at Wal Mart, Target, Babies R Us, and Sam's, for finding cheerios in random places at the house and in my car, for spit up stains on my clothes, for a knowledge of food allergies that's borderline obsessive, for bringing things like Ritz crackers and applesauce into my cupboard, for slobbery kisses, and nuzzling in my neck when I tickle you.  Thanks for so many experiences this year that I never knew I was missing out on.

You have squirmed your way into my every conscious thought, and I couldn't be more happy about it.  Thanks for the most love filled, emotional-roller-coaster-year.  To say I adore you would be a gross misunderstatement.

 I love you,